Ok, I have to admit that last night when I got quiet and realized what I was doing I panicked!! I went back and read other blogs and thought for the most part people are sharing what there families are doing, recipes and other helpful, but fun information. I must be CRAZY! I am basically sharing my journal. Back in the day we would have called it our diary and I would have secured it with a lock and key. Here I am putting it on the web for everyone! I am putting myself out here for people to gossip about, tell themselves, each other and me I have no right to share this, but if I help even one person through a struggle this will all be worth it.
I was thinking yesterday about a verse that I had taught my preschoolers. Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times.." It became such a special and meaningful verse to me! Now, my little ones... they took it out of context at first. They would take a toy from their friend, their friend would obviously get angry (maybe a little hitting would even get involved...their 4 ;o) and no, I do not condone hitting!) but then they would remind their friend that "Hey, Mrs. Cindy said a friend loves at ALL times!" It took a while, but we finally got it. When a friend came in having a bad day they stuck by that friend.
They learned that it is easy to love your friends on a good day, but what about the bad ones? Those bad days are the ones that we need our friends most desperately. Those days when are personalities are rotten, when we are the most unlovable are the days we need to be loved the most. I know I found that out the hard way. Some people just want the fun. The facade that you put on. This is where I am finding that I am still healing. I need to forgive. Even today my Father gave this verse to me. "Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:12-13 I think as humans forgiveness is almost a constant state of being, it is almost like breathing. Something that we constantly must be mindful of doing because we don't have the capability of forgetting. So in our pursuit of becoming more like Him, we've got to be in a constant state of forgiving those that have hurt us.
Then there were those sweet friends that walked through the trenches with us! Sometimes we have to pray for these people to come into our lives. Sometimes they were there all along, we just couldn't see them for the pain. I am so thankful now that I can clearly see who has holding me up during those dark days. I surrounded myself with a very close group of friends and family. Most importantly I think my Father had me turn to my husband for refuge and rest. Infertility can take such a tole on a marriage, but I had made a covenant with husband and I was/am determined to see it through. He finally became my best friend. "Two are better than one, because they have good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
I would love to go through and list each of my special friends and what you mean to me, but I don't think I have words to describe how precious your friendship has been. Some of you are friends, some of you are family and some of you are friends that feel more like family, but I promise "I thank God every time I think of you!" Phillipians 1:3
Until next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment